Pieces of Me (Just Like the Song)

The fabulous Date Girl tagged me with the ten random facts about me Meme. This is great because I love talking about myself and have had total blogger block all week. So here goes nothing (or something). I tag anyone who wants to do this.

1. I worked at Target during the summers while I was in college. Now when I walk into any kind of store, I have to fight back the urge to zone (this is pulling merchandise to the front of the shelf, and making sure the label is properly showing) the store. Retail seeps into your brain.

2. I am the thumb wrestling champion of the world. I have never lost a thumb wrestling game to anyone ever. Believe me I constantly have to defend my title.

3. I like to plan pretend vacations to foreign countries that I currently can’t afford to visit. I plan the sites I will see, the places I will eat, and the hotels where I will stay. I’m currently learning about Amsterdam.

4. I really don’t understand the appeal of American Idol and I hate the Napoleon Dynamite movie with a white hot passion.

5. I always have been a little bit of a goody goody, because I saw the path alcohol & drugs led my brother down. I really didn’t start drinking till I was 20. I’ve never smoked pot. But I did steal my mother’s car for a joyride when I didn’t have a license, and totaled it.

6. I met my husband online 9 years ago. I never imagined we would chat more than a few times, so I thought I would have a little fun & lied to him about a lot of things including my name & age. I confessed the truth to him two years later, knowing that would be the end of our friendship, but he forgave me no questions asked. I kind of like him.

7. I love to read auto-biographies & biographies about everyone (celebrities, politicians, royalty, or even everyday people). I also watch a ton of documentaries and E! Hollywood True Stories. I think truth is always stranger & more interesting than fiction. I hope one day I will have a story of my own worth telling, or maybe I already do.

8. The two things I miss the most about living in Alabama are how beautiful the cotton fields are when they are in full bloom, and waking up to fog so thick you can’t see your hand in front of your face.

9. I’m obsessed with cleaning out my ears; sometimes I use q-tips three times a day. I do not heed the warnings on the q-tip box either; I get all up in my canal’s grill.

10. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It will probably be really difficult for me to get pregnant. The doctor told me I should probably start trying to have a baby a full two years before I actually want to get pregnant. However I am not discouraged by this, and I will happily adopt when the time comes.

365 days ago (give or take):

As far as I knew Adam didn’t even know that women were able to fart. Maybe to him women are angels that never pass gas and are constant beings of sunshine and light. I mean I am a being of sunshine and light, so why would he think otherwise?

Of course I had to be the first one to fart in this relationship. But after living together a year neither one of us cares anymore. Let Em Rip!

100 Random Facts About Your Local SuperGoddess Extraordinaire

I wanted to challenge myself to do this, and I finally finished it! By some Divine coincidence this happens to by my 100th post.

1. I was born and raised in St.Louis, MO, but I never consider myself anything other than a Southern girl.
2. My favorite movie is Gone with the Wind, I've watched it 10 times this year alone.
3. I never wear jeans. I mean it never.
4. I always notice everyone's eyebrows. And I obsess over my own.
5. I am grossed out by clean napkins.
6. I get the giggles at really bad times like during group prayer or funerals.
7. I drink milk with my pizza and orange juice with my Chinese food.
8. I have been to four countries on three continents, I know how blessed I have been.
9. I have my mother's nose; I resent her for it (jk, sorta).
10. I don't believe in love at first sight.
11. I live in fear of being tickled.
12. I visit wikipedia everyday. Usually more than once.
13. My mother is a much nicer, female version of Jeff Lewis from Bravo's flipping out.
14. I worry about my wedding, because I hate being the center of attention.
15. I bought a flip cell phone, to stop my butt from calling people.
16. I always want to buy whatever I see on info commercials, even stuff I would never use like knives or a flow bee.
17. After reading her book, I admire Tori Spelling.
18. If I were a golden girl I'd be Rose.
19. After many years of denying it, I finally admit it, I SNORE!
20. I’m obsessed with studying The Tudor period of English History.
21. A part of me likes being chubby, at least I get a great ass out of the deal.
22. I am a very forgiving person except when it comes to myself.
23. I collect anything with polar bears and snow globes.
24. Most of my crushes have turned out to be gay.
25. Adopting my brother's portly golden retriever has brought me as much joy as graduating from college.
26. I can tell the taste difference between bathroom water and kitchen water.
27. I dislike the bar and club scene.
28. I’m fascinated by serial killers.
29. I dream about visiting Russia, and touring the palaces of The Tzars.
30. My mother was in labor with me for an insanely long time.
31. I enjoyed wearing a school uniform.
32. I'm very religious; I just don't push it on ANYONE.
33. I'm scared to cut my hair short, because my mom did when I was 5, and someone asked me if I was a boy or a girl.
34. I have 2 siblings-BJ and Georgiana. Both of them are half siblings and I've only talked to Georgiana by e-mail.
35. I have a signature “I gotta potty” dance.
36. I type 70 WPM.
37. Once I woke up with a bruised rib for no explainable reason.
38. I took JROTC in high school, so I didn’t have to take P.E. JROTC was harder.
39. Horror movies have no affect on me.
40. The only subject I ever failed was unified geometry.
41. I consider myself a bad driver. Though most disagree.
42. The only “celebrity” I ever met was Amy Wynn from Trading Spaces.
43. I don't like being on the end of a drunk dial.
44. I hate ending sentences with prepositions, but I can't figure out how to avoid it.
45. I met my fiancé online eight years ago.
46. I named my two goldfish Jack & Rose, right after I saw the movie Titanic.
47. I took French for two years straight, and in that time I never learned to read, write, or speak it. I just memorized the information for the tests.
48. I think the best game in the universe is Monopoly.
49. I love tedious, repetitive tasks like HTML coding.
50. I am proud of the life I've made for myself in California.
51. Of all the seven deadly sins, I struggle most with jealousy.
52. I miss my grandfather everyday.
53. I embarrassingly enjoy reading celebrity gossip websites.
54. Every summer Olympics has coinciding with great times of change in my life (including this one).
55. The knowledge that I would one day die used to prevent me from falling asleep. Now I'm ok with that fact.
56. I think men in boxers look better than men in tighty whities.
57. In college my roommates and I had a poster of Adam Brody (Seth from the OC) on the wall in our bathroom stall.
58. If I didn’t hate public speaking so much, I would want to be a history teacher.
59. I took my first flight at 2 weeks old.
60. Due to my parents and grandparents being divorced; I used to have to attend 3 thanksgiving dinners.
61. I could eat Sushi everyday of my life.
62. I don’t want to have children until I’m 30.
63. I can only comb through my thick, curly hair while I’m in the shower. I still dread it because it is so painful.
64. I sometimes pretend that the lyrics of a song are written about me.
65. My paternal grandfather was a contestant on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
66. I sometimes pretend I'm on America's Next Top Model and practice my catwalk in the hall.
67. It irks me when stores whip out holiday decorations months in advance.
68. I rock the side pony tail often.
69. I know things that bother me in other people are faults that I have myself.
70. I kept in touch with my ex's mother years after me and her son had broken up.
71. A teacher once asked me to write in print because my cursive was so bad.
72. I’ve been getting grey hairs since I was 15.
73. Anytime raw human emotion is shown in movies, I cry.
74. Compared to my loud mouth, opinionative, but loveably family, I’m a shrinking violet.
75. In middle school everyone called me Britney Spears (Ugh).
76. I love studying maps; I even have a world map as a shower curtain.
77. It may be childish but I want a beautiful dollhouse, so I can decorate with little dollhouse furniture.
78. I like to sleep with my bedroom the temperature of an Alaskan glacier.
79. My eyes change from blue to green depending on my mood.
80. I’ve been blogging on various sites since I was 14.
81. My biggest fear is crashing into a body of water in my car.
82. My favorite channel is BRAVO.
83. I shoplifted a pack of baseball cards for my older brother when I was five.
84. I was never given the sex talk, and I can honestly say that I don’t know how I learned about sex.
85. My favorite genre of books is historical fiction, but my most guilty pleasure is The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Series.
86. When I go to restaurants my greatest worry is I won’t be able to decide what I want before the waitress asks (it’s that crazy anxiety thing again).
87. I like pansy alcoholic drinks like Mike's Hard Lemonade and Malibu rum.
88. I have a really great complexion.
89. I really don’t like chocolate much at all.
90. I have keinbock’s disease, which is a unexplainable deterioration of tissue in my wrist, it can be pretty painful.
91. My least favorite chores are folding laundry and doing dishes. Buy me a dishwasher. STAT.
92. I’m addicted to Postsecret.
93. I’m not good at accepting compliments.
94. I think Jane Cleaver must have been stoned off her gourd.
95. My high school’s infamous Junior/Senior Egg Wars were featured on MTV’s High School Stories
96. I accidentally mimic other people's accents.
97. One of my all time favorite memories is when I was working at Target three summers ago. It was July 4th, and after the store had closed we climbed up top of the roof and watched the beautiful fireworks.
98. I am prone to ear infections.
99. I am often intimidated by men.
100. I have a pair of flips flops in almost every color.

If you are still reading this give yourself a cookie!

No One is Youer than You

My awesome blogger friend Shinade at The Painted Veil tagged me in the Unspectacular Meme. It's all about the little quirks that may not be important, but are a part of who you are. It's a lot of fun. While I'm not officially tagging anyone, I would love for everyone to do it. So as always if you play, I'll be happy to link you!

1. I am really disturbed by napkins. Not just dirty ones, clean ones too. It has to do with their texture. Touching it seriously sends chills down my spine; I really don’t know how this developed, but it seems like I’ve felt this way forever. I remember throwing fits when my mother would put a napkin on my dinner plate as a child. I do prefer using cloth napkins or paper towels, but in a pinch I will use a regular napkin. My friends love to tease and torture me about this. Once they even lined my dorm room floor with napkins while I was in class. And really I can laugh at myself about it, because I know this is weird.

2. While I know it’s not actually real, enriching, or worthwhile on any level, I absolutely love reality TV. I’ve been watching The Real World since Seattle. I eat up shows like Rock of Love, Top Chief, and Project Runway. I love to laugh over the insanity that is A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila. I watch America’s Next Top Model so often, that I find myself pretending my hallway is a catwalk.

3. I legally changed my last name when I turned 19. I took on my mother’s maiden name. I’ve had many problems with my father my entire life. He was not a good man, and very abusive to everyone in his life. When I became a teen, I broke away from him. Although we have a “relationship” now, it is not easy. I don’t regret my choice to change my name however. My mother was my rock, and raised me all by herself. And when I marry I will take Adam’s last name, but I plan to make my current last name my middle.

4. I never had any desire to learn to drive, and when I turned sixteen I was terrified. So when I was seventeen, my mother forced me to take my driver’s test. I failed the first time because of my nerves, but I did pass on the second try. But the test had made me so nervous, that I had broken out in hives. My driver’s license picture was atrocious, and I was to worked up to even drive myself home. My mom did the right thing though, I would have never have gotten it otherwise.

5. I rarely treat myself to them, but I love pedicures. I have tiny, tiny toenails that are near impossible for me to paint by myself. Even the pedicurist has trouble with them, but it’s the only time I get to have pretty toes. And pretty toes make me feel pretty. Plus is there anything better than sitting in a massage chair and skimming through magazines? I think not.

6. Although I recently moved in with my fiancé, and we are sharing a bed, we are not sleeping together. We have never even had sex. This is a decision we talked about and made together after much thought. It has less to do with religion, and more to do with what we thought would be better for our relationship. Although I’m not a virgin, I do see sex as a big deal. And we decided that we knew we would get married, and that we wanted to have something to look forward to on our wedding night. So that it’s not just like any other night. Sometimes it’s hard to wait, but we are still a intimate and happy couple. Plus, we never have pregnancy scares. I don’t think our way is the best way for everyone, but it’s the best way for us.

About Me

I am Brittany E., a 23 year old self-described super goddess extraordinaire. I’m fun, neurotic, and forever my mother's daughter. I have the sweetest, most charming, techie husband, Adam. He is from Wisconsin and spends many days during football season celebrating or moping around the house with a Packer’s cheese hat on his head. This makes it impossible to ever take him very seriously. We have a very sweet golden retriever named Sarah, who is our world. This is what happens when a couple doesn’t have children.

I was born in St.Louis, Missouri, but at the age of 11 my mother's job transferred us to Alabama. I thought my life was over, but it turns out sitting on the porch sipping sweet tea suited me just fine. Then in May 2008, right after my college graduation, I packed everything I owned into my tiny Honda Civic and drove cross country to move in with my then fiancé in Southern California. I am not a spontaneous person, so that is the craziest thing I’ve ever done. Luckily he married me, so I didn't end up having to hustle up and down the Pacific Coast Highway.

Even though I have given up cotton fields and cows, for smog, high prices, and traffic, things are working out pretty well. But as a country singer once said, "Being married ain’t the struggle, you could stay that way forever, the hardest part is the living together.” But if Adam could learn not to put empty containers back into the fridge, our LIFES WOULD BE PERFECT.

I work with children by day, and am a counseling grad school student by night. In my free time, I neither do housework nor watch any soaps, so I'm obviously wasting my life way. But I’d much rather spend my time walking my dog on the beach, looking for the answers to life’s questions on Wikipedia, overdosing on sushi, and playing God on the Sims 2. My short term goal involves eating some ice cream, and my long term goal would be to get my masters degree and open up my own private practice.

I love Malibu Banana Rum, playing board games, and quiet nights in. I enjoy TV that is really, really awful. But I figure that is OK because I admit that it is really, really awful. I can't get enough of country music (though I like all kinds) and I have a rather unhealthy obsession with all things Taylor Swift. I can also tell you about every cast mate that ever was on the Real World. And that my friend is sad.