Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Old McDonald had a Dead Baby in a Cage in the Barn

This is Clyde. Clyde's name is spelled with a backwards L. If you don't spell Clyde's name with that backwards letter, he gets angry. When Clyde gets angry, he kicks puppies. And you don't want to be responsible for a kicked puppy now do you? That's what I thought. Clyde sits in our backyard, and is shared with our duplex neighbor. Do you know we have lived here a little over two months now, and I have yet to glimpse our next door neighbor? Adam met him on move in day, and assures me he exists. But other than once hearing him sing karaoke through the walls, I have no proof.

Clyde holds the washer and dryer, and all the crap that we can't fit in our one closet. In Clyde, there are various items, that either belong to the mysterious duplex neighbor, or were left there by the landlord.
Doesn't everybody have a dead baby doll hanging from a cage in their storage shed? I know we do! We call her Chatty Cathy, because that just seems fitting. Plus, I hypothesized (ohhh, big word) that maybe it is her chattiness, that got her strung up in the cage. Bad Chatty Cathy! Bad! I about fell out laughing the first time I saw it, and now I don't even notice it. What does that say about me?
There are several things that terrify me about this sign. First, was this stolen from a place that their are actually buried mines? Are there innocent souls that are going to be walking around a dangerous place, lets say a wal-mart parking lot, and are going to be blown up by a mine? Or is the sign to warn me and Adam of the dangers that lurk in Clyde? Will I be separating my whites and colors one day, take too many steps to the right, and be blown to smithereens? If that is case, dear Internet, I leave you all my snow globes

In the scheme of all the weird things in the barn, this wielder's mask isn't as interesting or as scary. But why it is there? Its not like the barn is used for wielding, as there are no other wielding tools in the barn. (Not that I knew what welding tools looked like, but I do now after I googled it). And why is the mask named Hutch? I just envision the horror movie scene that might be reenacted in our barn, and worry that it is lowering our property value.

This isn't an object, but a picture painted on the back wall. First, can I say WHY!?! Why is this painted on the wall? Is it art? Second of all, what exactly is it? I'm pretty sure two of the images are a giant man and a cloud. But what are the other images? Tacos? Rocks? Joints? Is he smoking them? Eating them? Dreaming of them? You tell me.


  1. *Shudder* A baby doll hanging in a cage, the welder's mask with a name attached and a karaoke singing neighbor you have never seen. It has scary movie written all over it!! :)

  2. EWWW! That baby doll in the cage is super creepy. Then again baby dolls always used to creep me out, even when I was little.


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