But then we got to the store and absolutely everything looks good. So by the time we check out, we have more than doubled our list. And not only do we have small items, but we also have big, heavy items like dog food & several gallons of milk. (On a side note: Adam and I both drink an insane amount of milk each week. So much so that if one of us ever gets osteoporosis, I'm suing for false advertising).
One of the things we had decided we just had to have was some cupcakes (curse them for putting the bakery by the deli). I had finally convinced Adam that we had to get the white cupcakes, why anyone would want chocolate cupcakes is honestly beyond my understanding. I hate most things made of chocolate. (Blasphemy, I know). So Adam put the cupcakes in the buggy, and then proceeded to give me a lecture about being careful with the precious cupcakes, and I'm like, "dude, really, I can protect the cupcakes."
The problem with us buying the whole store is now we have to walk the whole store home. So as soon as we get our groceries and step outside of Ralph’s, it hits us that we have to lug all this stuff home. *Groan, Complain, Bitch* I suggested he go get the car, but he said, "No, we can handle this!" And for a split second I think, "I love this guy; he would never lead me astray, so we CAN HANDLE THIS." Then I picked up the bags, which pinched my shoulders, and I started to waddle home. Believe me, waddling is the only way you can walk when you feel like you are playing piggy back with an elephant. At first I was able to keep up with Adam's pace, but soon I found myself dragging behind. I told Adam to go on without me, because I'd get there eventually. But he stops anyway and looks at me like he is a solider on a battlefield and exclaims, "No Man Left Behind!"
We finally get home, both exhausted, basking in the knowledge of how much fuel we must have saved by not driving that block and a half! I immediately started putting the groceries away, and I discovered the cupcakes had been flipped over on their side. This was not done by the cashier, but by my husband-to-be, Mister. Grocery Store Cupcake Lecturer himself. He simply replied, "I forgot," when I teased him about it. As a result of this blatant mishandling, half of the cupcakes had fallen on their side, smearing the icing. But thank the heavens above that the plastic Laker rings that topped the cupcakes remained unharmed.
The problem with us buying the whole store is now we have to walk the whole store home. So as soon as we get our groceries and step outside of Ralph’s, it hits us that we have to lug all this stuff home. *Groan, Complain, Bitch* I suggested he go get the car, but he said, "No, we can handle this!" And for a split second I think, "I love this guy; he would never lead me astray, so we CAN HANDLE THIS." Then I picked up the bags, which pinched my shoulders, and I started to waddle home. Believe me, waddling is the only way you can walk when you feel like you are playing piggy back with an elephant. At first I was able to keep up with Adam's pace, but soon I found myself dragging behind. I told Adam to go on without me, because I'd get there eventually. But he stops anyway and looks at me like he is a solider on a battlefield and exclaims, "No Man Left Behind!"
We finally get home, both exhausted, basking in the knowledge of how much fuel we must have saved by not driving that block and a half! I immediately started putting the groceries away, and I discovered the cupcakes had been flipped over on their side. This was not done by the cashier, but by my husband-to-be, Mister. Grocery Store Cupcake Lecturer himself. He simply replied, "I forgot," when I teased him about it. As a result of this blatant mishandling, half of the cupcakes had fallen on their side, smearing the icing. But thank the heavens above that the plastic Laker rings that topped the cupcakes remained unharmed.
Adam and I divided the cupcakes up equally. This is because being in a relationship is a lot like being in a kindergarten class at snack time. If everything isn’t fair and equal we throw big tantrums. That afternoon I decided I was ready for the cupcake ration that I had allotted myself for the day. So I wandered into the kitchen to find that half of the cupcakes had already been eaten. If there is anything that really emphasis Adam and mine's personality differences it is this, he wants to have everything right away and I like to plan & organize to make things last as long as possible.
But not only had he ate all his cupcakes, he had devoured only the non-defective ones. Leaving me the ones he had toppled. I asked him why he did this and he said, “Oh I forgot.” Forgot my ass that was a pre-mediated act! But my mom also used to tell me, “Your Sins will Catch Up with You,” and they caught up with him, when I threw him the remote control that night, and it accidentally beamed him in the face. HARD.
And this is what Sarah thinks of her daddy eating all the good cupcakes!
So next we headed out into the Judean dessert – driving alongside the West Bank and we eventually hit the Dead Sea. We stopped there and what a surprise that it was a real beach…It was gorgeous. Which was surprising, since I always pictured dead as in ugly.
Day 2 in Israel, We see the Dead Sea! And Masada! And Gazelles! And nearly get killed driving in Jeursalem!
LMAO, you "accidentally" got him back! I bet he thinks twice next time lol, but I have to say, the Bratz do this crap to me all the time. I buy them 2 gallons of chocolate milk, i buy myself ONE half gallon of chocolate soymilk. What do they do? they drink all mine! But if I buy them only chocolate soymilk they complain and claim i;m being unreasonable lol. I can't win!
ReplyDeleteI loved your story and I'm envious of your cupcakes even if they all didn't arrive home perfectly. You shop the same way I do. Everything in the store looks good and makes my way into the basket.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your day!
OMG This completely cracks me up!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know...when you think about it...you probably expelled more carbon dioxide from breathing hard than if you had started up the car. Think about it. :)