Unfiltered Thoughts While Driving to Work (My Apologies)

1. Who came up with Turducken? Turducken is a fun word to say. What does it taste like? How do the chicken & duck feel about being shoved up the turkey's ass? I mean really, it's only kinky for the Turkey.

2. The set of Jeopardy! looks like a million squashed orange gummy bears. How come no one sees this but me? I love how Alex Tribec explains why the clue made sense to the people who answered it wrong. He says it in the same tone that my youngest niece says, "Duh." Its easy to put two & two together when you HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS, ALEX.

3.I like the idea of The Clapper, but they are missing out on some amazing profit opportunities. I want a clapper that will fix me a four course dinner, yell "You Go Girl" when I get dressed in the morning, clean the house, and take my dog out for a walk. Only then will I invest.

4.Why doesn't Adam understand why it bothers me so much when he puts things on the microwave tray without a plate? That's so gross and unsanitary. When he teased me and said he had put spaghettoes in the microwave without a bowel, for a split second I believed him. And then I envisioned my head exploding. I think as pay back (since he hates feet) I will blow up a picture of my big toe, and tape it to his pillow. Surprise.

5. I wish I hadn't accidentally overheard that comment my mother made about my stepfather being on Viagra. Gee, thanks Mom. *Shivers* As far as I'm concerned my mother is the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary, and my brother & I are just products of immaculate conception. Thank you very much.