Saturday, December 13, 2008

I Don't Know Nothing Bout Birthing No Babies

So you know those Volkswagon Routan commercials starring Brooke Shields? The ones where she accuses perfectly respectable women of getting pregnant just so their husbands will buy them a routan? If I were one of those women, I would be really insulted. They got pregnant for the same reason every woman in America does, one night they had too many tequila shots & let's get it on was playing on the stereo. Duh. I like Brooke Shields, I do, but she is not persuasive enough to make me go out and populate the world or buy a VW (even if German engineering does get me hot). But she did talk me into trying the routan baby maker.

Is that Clark Gable & Vivian Leigh? Oh no silly its just Adam and me (but I can totally see why you thought that). This was actually taken in Vegas a few days after my 21st, as evident by my orange margarita that I am doing my damnedest to show off. I don't know if this is a completely accurate representation of us though, because we go a few weeks too many without haircuts and I start to look like a floppy eared dog & Adam morphs into Macgyver. But anyway, take one Brittany & one Adam, some complicated reproduction processes, shake and you get....

Siberio Wolgang Tiberus Marten (hey if the celebs can do it, so can I)

So you see this picture and think our little Siberio only looks a little creepy. But let me tell you, when your baby is "created" it is a virtual baby. He very spasticly (is that a word?) looks from side to side, and is so scary that my uterus ran & hid. I guess Siberio has Adam's eyes and my hair color. Unfortunately, he has also been saddled with my honker, hopefully it serves him better than it has me. But those cross eyes & mismatched ears? Obviously the product of that darn margarita.


  1. Oh my. I'm afraid if I look at what ours would look like, I'll change my mind about trying to have children in the next year or two. Funny post!

  2. I commented on Brooke Shields and those stupid commercials once. They drive me a bit batty. What a stupid marketing ploy---insult your customers. No WONDER the car market it declining...I know, I know it has nothing to do with that, but still. Not even the same stinkin' company as one of the big 3, but it's the principle of the thing!

  3. I want to have my "virtual" baby also. :) Nice post!
    I'll give this a try when I already find a father. Hahaha!

  4. hahaha. i SO need to try this.

  5. Is it just me? Does he NOT look like "Mini-Me" with HAIR?!?

  6. You have me laughing so hard...but is it weird that I think that baby is cute? Come on...that's a pretty cute baby..the eyes are only slightly!!

  7. @Lazy Housewife-haha, I don't take it too seriously. :)

    @Allison-Yeah I think I found them amusing at first, but now I'm over it.

    @Mara-Try a celebrity! Hugh Jackman fits the bill.

    @Heather-Yay! You should post it!

    @Grandy-I see it! I see it!

    @MySweetThree-He looks kind of cute, but the virtual one scares my shitless!

  8. Hahaha! I LOVE that name! And the crossed eyes are really, umm, endearing!
    Oh, and I'm totally having a baby just to get a Routan. I'm not at all ashamed to admit it!

  9. You are hysterical.. babhahaha.. he is kinda cute in a way.. lol

    PS.. email me your address so I can have Avon ship you the cologne!! :)


I love comments, and I always read my comments. But sometimes I make a mental note to go comment back on your blog, and then forget to (Even if I’m an avid read of your blog, whoops). Since I'm so bad about this, I will mostly reply to comments in my comment section, so please check back! If you have something pressing to talk to me about you can e-mail me at


Design by Peachy Keen Design