Shame in Aisle 2

This weekend saw the event I have been looking forward to my entire life, even more so than getting engaged-I registered for my wedding! Is there any better feeling than shopping without spending a dime? It’s like getting absolutely everything you want from a store, without the item trying to make you feel guilty. I literally own a skirt that has the ability to shame me about the money I shouldn't have spent in the first place, to the point that I really never wear it much. This defeats the point of buying it in the first place and makes the money even more of a waste. Neurotic? Moi? Never?

We decided to register at two places-Target & Bed, Bath, & Beyond. It may be because their color is red, I worked there, are the have the cutest mascot ever, but to me Target has always seemed like an upgraded Wal-mart. Plus, I can admit to being a sucker for their advertisements. I’ve always been that way, I’ll see an infomercial and Ill want whatever Richard Karn (Al Borland from Home Improvement) is pushing. I mean who is more reassuring than Al Borland? And Bed, Bath, & Beyond not only has lovely things, it introduced me to courtesy flush, which is perfect for people like me who are nervous about getting down & dirty in public.

After fueling up on burger fries we went to Target first, where we got a little red scanning gun which we used to play cops & robbers in kitchen supplies. We got to debate the virtues of waffle makers & rainfall shower heads. There was a minor "discussion" about whether or not a big screen TV could be put on the registry, and I relented with the stipulation that I could add the hair straightner I was dying to get. But soon our time in Target was done and it was time to swing by the B, B, & B.

Bed, Bath, & Beyond was an infinitely more fancy process than registering at Target. Although my definition of classy is to refrain from picking your nose in public. The lady registering us, lets call her Steph, was explaining why their registry was so great and better than other stores like Target. Yes, she said Target. When she said the word Target I began to sweat, and prayed that she wouldn't notice the Target bag Adam was clutching. Because if she did notice we would be exposed, and she might do mean things to us like add the Jonas Brothers comforter set to the registry after we left the store. (And not the Hannah Montana one like we wanted).

Soon we were let loose in the store to do our damage, and we added around 50 items. When we finally finished, we had to meet back with Steph. I had a sneaky suspicion we were about to be put in the naughty chair, when she said, "Lets See How You Did." She was a little taken aback by the low number since they suggest registering for a lot of items. So I mumbled something about having to think about some items, or adding them online, and apologized over and over again. Even though it didn't matter. Adam didn't get why I felt so guilty, but all I know is if I ever feel like I’m disappointing anyone I start sweating like a hooker in church.