Last night was wonderful. Last night there was dinner at Friday's, two hours of leisurely thumbing through books and guilty pleasure magazines at Barnes & Noble, and a midnight showing of The Dark Knight. Wonderful by the way, the Joker was the scariest villain I've ever seen (rest in peace, Heath Ledger). But today was much different.
Today was finally getting a hold of my "employer" after a few days of e-mails and ignored phone calls. Three weeks ago, I attended orientation and was told I would be contacted soon to begin working. A job I was really excited about and was well qualified to do. A week went by and I didn't think much of not hearing from them, two weeks went by and I started to get a little bit ancy, and this week I felt it was important for me to touch base. Call it women's intuition or just plain old paranoia but I had a sneaky suspicion that things weren't on the up and up.
After a few e-mails and phone messages, I finally got in touch with one of my bosses today only to be given a thinly-veiled brush off. Basically they told me they did not have any work for me now and didn't know when they would. This is all fine and dandy, but don't tell me I have a job and bring me into orientation, just to drop me and not tell me. We are struggling for money as it is, and my time is valuable. I got calls for other interviews in the last few weeks, but I was so happy with the job I had landed, I turned them down. Was I a fool?.
When I called Adam to tell him the news I thought I was holding it together pretty well, but at the caring tone of his voice I fell to pieces. I hate when that happens, it was really more out of anger then sadness. I was owed a phone call. While I am very angry, to be completely honest, it slightly plays into my occasional feelings of inadequacy. Logically I know I'm skilled. I have a college degree, decent work experience, killer parallel parking skills, and no one has ever beat me in thumb wrestling. It's just disappointing to have to start at square one all over again. More long nights submitting resumes, more nerve-wracking interviews, and more waiting.
Tomorrow I will be more optimistic and ready to start all over again, but tonight I want to take my free "life after college" book given to me on graduation day and watch it go up in flames.