Tonight I did something that may qualify me for the sneakiest girlfriend ever award. I can tell on myself because while Adam knows about my blog, he doesn't really read it (unless I ask him too). This works in my favor, because I can come on here and exaggerate any bad traits he has, and y'all will think THE STARS MUST HAVE FELL ON HIM to win such a prize like me. When the truth is I can be a neurotic, mess of a flake, and we are both pretty lucky to have found each other (gag, lol).
My sweet tooth has been out of control lately, so last night when we went to the store Adam and I picked up some Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I got Chunky Monkey, which is banana flavored ice cream with chocolate chunks & walnuts, and Adam got Cake Batter. I'm obsessed with bananas & banana flavored things, and as a former psychology major I can imagine what Freud would have to say about that.
I ate my ice cream right after I bought it yesterday, but tonight my sweet tooth was screeching for attention again. Adam had long since gone to bed, and I started contemplating his untouched ice cream. “No I couldn't eat his ice cream,” I told myself. But just like when I was a child, those gears started turning and I began coming up with ways to get away with “burrowing” his ice cream.
I realized that Adam would most likely leave for work in the morning without ever glancing in the freezer. So I could go to the store tomorrow and just replace it, while still getting to cling to my perfect girlfriend image. Once that thought was placed in my head, there was no stopping me. I finished off his ice cream and then proceeded to walk the empty cartoon all the way to the dumpster down the street, so he wouldn't notice it in the trash. I understood how crazy this all was while I was doing it, but I did it anyway.
The truth is I will most likely confess all this to Adam after I buy the ice cream. I have such a guilt complex. My deep seated guilty conscious just happens to be reason #1,243,423 I would make a terrible criminal.