Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Job Fair Adventure

In my quest to make sure I don't end up holding a sign that says will work for food, money, or a chance to see Jonathan Rhys Meyers naked, I decided to attend a job fair today. To say I'm nervous does not even begin to cover it. I guess interviews are nerve wracking to everyone but for someone afflicted with the crazies like me, the fear is multiplied 10x.

I had gotten a killer dress the other day from Lane Bryant for such an event. And I have to show a picture of this dress, because I've become such a clothes ho' since I've embraced my curves. Because fabulous and fat is no longer an oxymoron.

But because my stuff from the move is still a mess, I could not find a matching pair of shoes. So extra early this morning I headed to target in my dress, make-up, and PINK flip flops. And let me tell you, it takes a special kind of person to rock that outfit, and let me assure you I AM THAT KIND OF PERSON.

I picked out a cute pair of black flats that were on clearance, and I'm so happy that flats are in style right now. Because while I love high heel shoes, and have had some pairs that I would have married if it were legal, I'm about as graceful as the jolly green giant. Face planting it a few times at church is not so bad, but face planting it at a Job fair might make the employer feel you are not worth the insurance risk.

After I checked out at Target, I took the shoes into the bathroom to put them on. I literally had to gnaw off the strings holding them together with my teeth. Everyone who walked in gave me funny looks, and I'm sure they thought I was stealing them. But I finally got them on, and decided I was looking smoking hot.

It took me a while to find the Holiday Inn, and to be honest I thought maybe if I couldn't find it, I wouldn't have to do this. And that would be fine with me. But I finally found it, and I was shocked by the number of people who were there. And to be completely honest, I walked out once, and decided I would just tell people I went. They wouldn't know the difference. But I knew if I didn't give it a whirl, I would never forgive myself.

So while waiting in line I kept reciting thw mantra. "They Can't Eat You. " This is something that my grandmother told my mother as a child, and my then mother told me. Yes it's absurd and a little silly but it's true. No matter what happens, they can't eat you.

None of the jobs were really up my alley. Mostly insurance companies. But I'm glad I went because I needed to push myself. When I got home, there were two messages about job interviews. I won't say the name of the companies, because if I got the job with them, I wouldn't ever want to risk getting dooced.

The woman I talked to seemed nice, and was enthralled by my southern accent. I have to police myself when talking to her, because when someone comments on my accent it tends to get more pronounced. I guess subconsciously I just feel l like I have to represent and give them a show. So when they go home the can say, "Everything they say about those Southern Girls? It's absolutely true, dag gummit."

So I set up an interview with one of the companies for tomorrow. It's about 22 miles from here so I'm going to leave extra, extra early. Because right now I'm a terrified of the freeways. Well, at least I'm terrified of merging. I know I'm going to have to get used to this, but until then I'm pretending these new finagled road DON'T exist.


  1. Oh goodie for you. And being good old southern gal myself I am very familiar with that term.

    My mama told me that all the time too.

    And the dress is dynamite...I love it!!

    Geez...gotta run...we're pulling out again and I can't type...it's so bouncy.

    Got your button all fixed up.

  2. Surprise...I have something for you!!




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