Hey Guys, I feel I've been a little MIA from blogging and commenting lately. As many of you know I have some depression and anxiety issues, and I take medication. A few months ago, I kind of started to lapse on my medication. Once you take something so long, sometimes it becomes easy to forget. Sometimes when I'm feeling good (on medication), I start to question the severity of my depression. I start thinking I might be over dramatic, maybe my depression issues aren't so bad. And then a few weeks ago, depression knocked me over the head with a two by four.
I would definitely say my anxiety issues are worse than my depression issues. Anxiety definitely makes it hard for me to get out and do things, but when I'm not depressed, I have the strength to solider on. But depression robs me of all motivation and tenacity. Recently, I haven't wanted to do much of anything. My motivation has been zapped, my body aches all over, and just the thought of leaving the house sounds exhausting. School has been killing me, everything makes me cry, and I'm irritable with everyone. There have been lots of, "Honey, What is Wrong" moments. But I've restarted my medication this week, and today is the first day I'm starting to feel like me again.
In high school, before I started attending therapy, I never wanted to do much of anything. I didn't have many hobbies, didn't like to go out all the much, and just didn't have much of a life. I didn't know at the time that the tiredness and lack of motivation were my main symptoms of depression. Once I started medication, I started to love to hang out with friends and do creative projects. I became a new person. And it is the happy Brittany who loves to blog, design, scrapbook, and be goofy. And even though I will never like the idea that I will probably always have to be on medication, I accept the fact that my happiness should be the most important thing in my life.