Sunday, July 18, 2010

Tales from Over Yonder Part Two

Just as a warning this post is mainly going to be about the food I ate. Because, um, I ate a lot of food.

After the drinking, trip to fantasy land, and karaoke singing, I was more than ready for a few quiet days at home. When I finally got home, I got to see that my mother had completely redecorated my old bedroom and turned it into her library. When I was a senior in high school, she told me she was going to redecorate my room after I left for college. And I had like a level five freak-out about it. I really hate change and I felt that my room should be kept as a shrine to my childhood. I was still in therapy at the time, so we even had a mother/daughter therapy session about it. I may have cried, A LOT, in that session. Yes, I was/am dramatic, but at least I OWN it.

But the room actually looks really great and she kept a lot of stuff of mine as well. Plus after having a kid at home for over 30 years, I think she deserves a space of her own. One of the things she did was frame these letters both my brother and I wrote in elementary school. They were from a "I love my mother because" letter contest. His was from 1989, mine was from 1995. First, I give a cookie to whoever can first figure out how my letter was more poltically correct than my brothers. (Hint: Look at the pictures of the moms at the top). Second of all, it is so hilarious because it still represents our very different relationships with our moms.
The reason I love my mom is because she loves me. She is always there for me when I'm in trouble. We play games like Wheel of fortune and yathzee. We also go places like Jamestown and Banzoe (Branson). And she is not strict like other mothers. She gives me money to go places. Love, BJ

My brother is still asking my mother for money all the time, and she still has to bail him out of trouble.
Dear Mom, I love you beacuse you're sweet and kind. You always forgive me when I do wrong. You always understand me. Mom what would I do without you? Mom I know sometimes I'm a pain but I never mean it. You know how to cheer me up! You show your love to me from the heart. It seem you never get mad at me. I love you mom. Love, Brittany

Hello. I'm still a total pain. Cute, right?
My mother also kept my life size James Dean cardboard stand up! But honestly, if she hadn't kept James, then she would no longer be allowed to call herself my mother. James was the best "secret" boyfriend a high school girl could have. I say "secret" because I technically had a real live boyfriend in high school. But James Dean never forgot to call me on my birthday, kissed another girl, or made me cry at Champions on Ice. Heck, in many ways James is even better than my husband because James never put EMPTY milk jugs back into the fridge instead of recycling them. UGH.  But on the other hand, James could be slightly voyerstic when I was cannodling with real live boyfriends. Plus, he chain smoked and enjoyed scaring the crap out of me when I would stumble into my bedroom late at night. Think about it. Seeing an outline of a six foot man in the middle of the night in your BEDROOM? Not fun.
On my first full day in Alabama, we went shopping. First stop, Hobby Lobby! Can I just say I love hobby lobby? It is my favorite store ever, and I HATE that there isn't any in California. I really do have an obsessive love for all things artsy and crafty. I seriously think I'm just like a retrogressed little girl-scout dreaming about making popsicle stick jewelry boxes and cards caked with glitter. We spent over three hours at Hobby Lobby, I'm not even kidding. I mostly bought a bunch of scrap booking supplies because I've been meaning to put together a little scrapbook documenting our married life. After getting high off craft supplies, we went clothes shopping and to our old favorite haunt Surin for martinis, sushi, and CRAB ANGELS. Totally amazeballs.

On my last day in Alabama, I spent the morning at the hair salon. I was so thrilled to finally go see my hair dresser. I hadn't gotten my hair done professionally since the wedding. My ends were split, I couldn't do a thing with it, and I had suffered through not one but TWO lopsided haircuts. I love my hair dresser at home because I never feel I have to talk to her the entire time, something that can make me anxious. So while I got highlighted and chopped, I got to sit there and read the book about a bear mauling I had burrowed from my mother. Other books I read/looked-through/burrowed from my mother while at home? Books on plane crashes, a book called Deaths at the Grand Canyon, and one called The Torso Murders. What is wrong with me? Really. I don't know why I've always been fascinated by reading about true life tragedies. Just the other night, I stayed up late reading about unsolved murders on Wikipedia. I got myself so creeped out I had trouble sleeping.
When my hair was done, it really looked great. But because the stylist always uses a diffuser to style my hair, my curls really puffed up. So when I looked in the mirror, I had to laugh at myself because my hair looked like the little girl's hair on those shows like Toddlers and Tiaras. Later on my mother snapped a picture of me (the awful one you see above). My mother was acting like one of those pushy stage moms you see on those shows because she kept demanding that I smile with MY TEETH. Even though I kept telling her that I always look possessed when I smile with my teeth! Open-mouthed smiling isn't a talent I've mastered. But did she care? Absolutely not. Leading to the puffy chipmunk photo seen above.
After getting my hair done, we headed over to Bridgestreet in Huntsville. Bridgestreet is a new, outdoor shopping mall area that literally has everything. It is trying to be very upscale, it even has gondolas! It also has possibly the best Mexican food restaurant I've ever been too. But that could be due to the fact that I've recently fallen in love with avocados. And they make fresh guacamole with AVOCADOS (duh, of course it has avocados, Brittany, it is guacamole) right in front of you! And they stuff their enchiladas with AVOCADOS! That is pure avocado heaven folks!
While we were at Bridgesteet, we saw Toy Story 3 in 3D. It was fabulous, but I've loved all the Toy Story movies. But the most important thing that happened at Bridgesteet was our trip to the Chocolate Crocodile. A place I discovered during the weekend I had my bridal shower. The place I learned that apples could be dipped in things other than caramel. They can be dipped in white chocolate or in sprinkles! I started craving those precious covered apples two minutes after I finished my first ever apple. So on this trip home; I knew I had to get me an apple. And the apple I got trumps all apples I've ever had before. I present you with the cheesecake covered apple! The apple is pictured sitting on my nightstand in front of a framed bible verse. This was done purposely to give the apple the reverence it deserves.

I could also mention all the wonderful talks I had with my mother and the overall wonderful time I had. But really I think this post should end like it began, talking about food. Did I gain two pounds when I went home? Yes. Do I regret it at all? No. Mostly because I already lost those pounds. Plus cheesecake covered apples are healthy right? Apples are fruit. Sigh, I'm such a fat kid.


  1. The apple sounds really yummy..I think there is a Chocolate Crocodile in Shreveport...I might have to make a trip.

  2. I have had the most fabulous covered apples Leavenworth (in WA with me). I cried a few little tears when I ate it. Ok, I bawled and prayed to Jesus that I would somehow make it back to that covered apple place to eat all their goodness again.

    Yes, I too am a real fat kid.

  3. My mom still has our framed mother's day letters hanging up in her house. They crack me up! I think mine said I love my mom because she buys me candy, haha!

    I am a scrapbookaholic too! I've recently gotten into mixbooks because they look like scrapbooks but I can do them online and don't get cramps in my hands from cutting with scissors. We so need to get together for a day of scrapbooking, drinks, and SUSHI! OH, and we'll top the day off with cheesecake apples. OMG my mouth is watering.


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