"Did Adam just really say he would actually still wear the Hammer Pants Circa M.C. Hammer from the 80s in public? And he wasn't kidding? I think that is grounds for divorce."
"Don't fall off the treadmill again, Don't fall off the treadmill again."
"Now that I'm done working for the summer, I sure watch a whole lot of Game Shows. Maybe Game shows is my own version of the typical housewife that watches Soap Operas and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Like Housewives 3.0."
"Does my dog really love me? Or does she only love me because I've held her captive for so long. Sorta like Stockholm Syndrome."
"My mother is not taking my calls today, she obviously doesn't love me anymore. This is definitely influencing the cost of her mother's day gift."
"I can’t believe I set the timer on the oven and forgot to actually put the chicken in the oven. Good Job, Brittany! Way to waste gas and time!"