Monday, May 24, 2010
Jack Bauer Says, "Eat Cake or the Terroists Win."
Step Two: Spend a lot of time in the cake aisle at your local grocery store bickering about whether or not the 24 logo is orange or yellow as if the fate of the world depends on it. He thinks it is yellow, and you should probably listen to him because he is a 24 addict. But you think it is orange and you won't concede defeat. You are so convincing that he decides it really is orange. You feel vindicated.
Step Three: When your husband isn't looking, you go to Google to see if you were right about the 24 logo being orange. But first you become distracted for ten whole minutes by the Pacman game that has replaced the Google logo. You remind yourself why you were on Google in the first place, and discover that your husband was right about the logo being yellow. Decide not to tell your husband that you were wrong, because it might give him bragging rights. Because for the rest of your life, he would remind you of that time you were wrong.
Step Four: Then you realize that he is probably going to figure out he was right anyway when you and him watch the finale on TV Monday night. Decide you will milk it until then anyway, and maybe try to convince him he is color blind.
Step Five: Lean over the cake with the icing, terrified to start because you might mess it up. The Horrors! Repeat to yourself over and over again that, “It is only a series of trapezoids, it is only a series of trapezoids." Remember that you failed Geometry the first time you took it, and question if the shape is actually a trapezoid. Go back to Google to find out what shape actually is. Get distracted by Pacman again, and then decide that you don't actually care about the name of the shape. STEP AWAY FROM THE PACMAN GAME.
Step Six: Hold your breath and start to draw. Think "One Trapezoid Down, Only Eight to Go."
Step Seven: Your husband wants to try so you glare at him. Doesn't he know that he is throwing off your groove? Let him try anyway, and watch as he becomes intimidated, claiming that you do it better. Find your groove again and take back over. Finish the cake. Think it is not perfect, but still looks good.
P.S.-Can you guess which part of the two my husband did?