The Wedding of Mr. & Mrs. Banana Pt. 1

The first thing I want to say is that I call my friend Ana, Banana, which explains the post title. And the second thing I want to say about my trip to the hollar, is that I had completely forgotten what the South does to my naturally curly hair. The "I stuck my finger in a light socket" look is in fashion right?So you know how I had stayed up the entire night before my flight to Mississippi reading about plane crashes, and how it made me a girl who adores flying slightly apprehensive? Well you will never believe what happened to me. My flight to Dallas went off without a hitch. And I even spent sometime feeling like a lush in DFW airport, because I started drinking at 9 o'clock a.m. California time. I felt guilty, but then I asked myself, "What Would Alan Jackson Do?" And Alan Jackson would say it is 5 o'clock somewhere and get on with it.

I hopped on my connecting flight to Memphis, and by the time we arrived storms had formed over the airport. We were told we were making our initial descent, and then 30 minutes later we hadn't landed. The pilot told us we had been placed in a holding pattern because of severe turbulence warnings, and that we only had an hours worth of fuel. So if we didn't land soon, they would reroute us. I started to feel nervous but manged to stay calm, and a little while later we were able to land in Memphis. As soon as we landed, we learned that a tornado had just touched down in Memphis, and that is why we couldn't come down. We flew over a tornado! As scary as that was, finding myself smack dab in a tornado warning the minute I was back in the South, made me feel like I was finally home.

I had to wait out the storms in the airport for two hours. I was starting to have traumatic flashbacks to Christmastime, when I spent hours and hours in Chicago O'hare due to a snow storm. I was finally able to get out of there and pick up my rental car. Basically I got a no frills rental car, of course I could have gotten a frill for some extra money. The only thing I really missed was cruise control. On the ride down to Tupelo, sometimes I would look down and find I was going 90 and then a few minutes later I would be going 40! As you can see, I have no ability to regulate my own speed. But I had totally forgotten how great it can be to just get out on the open road and drive, I can't do that in L.A.

The funny thing is the whole trip I thought I was driving a Honda civic, I picked it because I have a Honda civic, that I named Homer. But this civic looked nothing like my civic, but I assumed that it was different because it was a newer model. When I returned it to Enterprise, I found out it was Hyundi! How did I miss that? In fact me and my friends had been calling it gh2. "Ghetto Homer" version 2.0.

That evening I met up with my friend Anna and her friend Benson for dinner. I love Benson, and I am so happy to have a new friend. Wow that last sentence sounded like a line from a Barney episode. Now I will be handing out HUGS, KISSES, and RAINBOWS to all my readers! Ha

Benson and Anna were cracking me up, because they told me a story about how he took Anna to her first gay bar. Apparently, she saw someone she knew from high school and whispered to Benson, "I know him, I had no idea he was gay!" And then Benson turned to her and said, "That's OK honey, hes looking at you and saying I didn't know she was gay!" Anna is a straight as anyone can get. I was laughing so hard, that I disturbed the entire restaurant. We stayed out eating and drinking until midnight.

If I wrote about everything that happened this weekend, this entry would be a book. So I decided to cut this into parts. Plus I think Ana's wedding deserves its own entry.

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365 days ago (give or take):

We ran into the room to make sure she hadn’t completely lost her marbles. And then she told us someone online had left her a comment about her story saying, "Your story is good for an ASSBURGER!" “How dare she call me an ASSBURGER?” she railed. “What does that even mean?” “An ASSBURGER my ASS.”

Meet my friend Lark, the Assburger.