Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Mother Dearest

Can we talk for a minute about how cool my mother is? Because she is one of the coolest people in the universe. She is 52 years old, but looks 35. She is an organization freak, and does more in a day than I do in a week. Whenever we meet anyone new while we are together and they comment on how much we look a like, she always tells them that she is the cute one. We spend at least an hour each week talking about America's Next Top Model. As a child she believed that she was the girl pictured on the Little Debbie snack cake boxes. I think I'll keep her.

My mother is now on facebook. My mother has wanted to get on facebook for a little while because some of her friends are on there. But I refused to help her, because whenever I try to teach her anything computer related it always ends in tears, feet stomping, and slamming doors. I wish I were kidding. This also happened when she tried to help me with my algebra homework, and took me on my first driving lesson (which was in a cemetery by the way, I totally woke the dead).

I thought she had finally gotten on facebook a few weeks ago, when I came across her name. I immediately sent her a friend request and told everyone on there to go add her. But she wouldn't add me, so I kept sending her requests. Finally I learned that wasn't her, and I'm sure that woman, who I call my alternate universe mommy, thought she was being stalked. I wouldn't be surprised if I get a restraining order in the mail any day now. But then last week she finally signed up. And it’s weird to me, because it’s like my social world has collided with my real world.

Every weekend I get on facebook to see what she is up to. And I think oh how cute my mother has friends! Oh how cute she put up a new status. Oh, she used the abbreviation BFF in her status! Does she even know that that means? Oh how cute she figured out how to put up a profile picture (which she claims she didn't do, so I told her it must have been the magical facebook elves). I was reading her about me section which says:” My daughter left home so I converted her bedroom into a library, so I read in there all the time and I love it." That is all it says.

It's like a glorification of the fact that I left home. Shouldn't my room stay a life long shrine to my childhood? Full of old photos, dried out roses, and stuffed animals. Where my mother can go sit on my bed and long for days gone by. Then she could cry and call me up and tell me how much she misses me. Preferably this would happen at least twice a week. She is a Big Meanie! So I told her she was a big meanie right there on facebook. She NEEDED to know. It turned into a regular facebook smack down, some took her side & some took mine. No one emerged victorious.

All kidding aside, I'm glad she did it. My mother had a child at home for over 30 years, and she deserves a room she can call her own. But still, I'm telling you, I just can't get no Mama love.

365 days ago (give or take):
Even the one she was once asked, “Do black people’s breast produce chocolate milk?” Seriously? Seriously? We all rolled. She said while it was the most interesting question she had ever been asked, and it was not dumb. She informed the girl there were no flavor packets in her boobs that she knew about.
The speaker at my graduation was wonderful. I can't believe I'm going back to school!


  1. I am cracking up at that poor woman you were stalking, lol. I agree your mother should have kept your room EXACTLY the way you left it.. tee hee.

  2. Awww... mom's are sooo cute. They are simply heaven sent. I love my mommy tons too. But when I have to teach her about computer stuff that's a whole different story. Lols... =)

  3. That's hilarious. My mom can't figure out email let alone facebook. I created a photobucket webpage so that my parents could see what Match and I are up to on a regular basis, and she can't get it to work. Somehow this is my fault, lol. I just shake my head and print out old photos to send her.
    Oh, and speaking as the girl whose childhood room is STILL a shrine, um, it's creepy. Be happy yours is a library. I'm just saying!

  4. OMG this post had me rolling! Your Mom sounds cool! Aren't you bummed ANTM is over? What are we going to do tonight??

  5. ha ha ha ha.

    My mom is on FB too which is EXACTLY why I have no blog information WHATSOEVER on it. My mom drives me insane, as I'm sure you already know ;)

    She means well with FB and she is oh-so-cute on it, but.. ha ha ha ha


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