The first year Adam and I were together I spent spring break with him out here in California. We went to the grocery store to get some reinforcements, and his eyes lit up like a kid seeing Santa for the first time when he saw the Reese's peanut butter eggs. They are his all-time favorites. He brought home two packages, and the first time I tasted one I knew my world would never be the same. I thought finally an Easter candy I could like. Because lets face it Peeps are undeniably evil, and eating Cadbury eggs is like drinking syrup straight for the bottle. Eww. (I'm sure I’m going to get some comments of disagreements about that statement, but YOU CAN’T CHANGE MY MIND).
I ate every single one of the eggs in one day while Adam was working, much to his dismay. But Adam didn't complain, because he understood how absolutely privileged he was to have me as a girlfriend (hardy, har, har). The next two Easters found me stuffing packages of peanut butter eggs in my desk drawer at the dorm, and lying to my friends about having any left when they asked me to share. I will share my clothes, I will share my soda, but please don’t ask me to share my reeses.
But once Easter passes the candy disappears, and I can save some money & quit torturing my thighs. Then I learned last December that they do the same thing at Christmas with peanut butter trees. I was so excited. I could now get my fix two times a year! Adam and I both bought a lot of those trees over Christmas, carefully labeling each with a "B" or "A". And hell fire & brimstone would rain down from the skies, if one of us so much as looked at the other's candy. Christmas ended, and I was happy to give up the candy till Easter; because I typically don't have any form of a sweet tooth.
So when I saw that they were now doing Valentine's Day hearts, I was understandably excited. I mean I had barely even finished detoxing from Christmas! But when I opened the package, I didn't find that the item looked much like a heart. In fact, I decided it kind of looks like an ass (Do you see it?). As strong as my addiction is I just can't bring myself to eat ass-shaped candy.