Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Just Say No To Wedding Dress Butt Bows

So when Adam popped the question last March, and we chose a date, it was 13 months away. That seemed like a lifetime away. But before I knew it the wedding was two months away, and I realized I didn't even have my dress. And all my mother's coworkers began feeding her horror stories about wedding dress shopping and how incredibly hard it would be. This led my mother to freak out and drive me crazy (as she does often). So I told her, "I Got This" just like I had my 4th grade science project. The one I did in one night, which placed above my best friend’s who worked on hers for weeks (that may just be why we are not friends anymore).

Last weekend my mother flew up to help me find my dream dress. Standing outside of the dress store right before it opened, surrounded by about 15 other brides, I wouldn't say I was excited but I would say I was struck with complete terror. Was this going to turn in to some kind of blood bath? Brides-to-be cat fighting over the perfect dress? Like the bloody, more violent sequel to Bride Wars. But the doors finally did open, and yes the brides did swarm-but luckily I had an appointment. When I sat down with my consultant, Claudia, she asked what I had in mind. I told her I had absolutely no idea, and I'm sure she thought this was going to be a long morning. I was able to decide that I wanted white instead of ivory. And that I wanted something that might cover up my arm flab (sometimes I wonder if I flap my arms hard enough, would I fly away?) That and I wanted no butt Bows! Who in the world invented the butt bow?

I told Claudia I was pretty much open for anything. So she went out dress browsing, and my mother got to work trying to cut off the oxygen flow to my brain by pulling me into a corset. Then I put on my slip and I looked like Olga the milk maid (When you read “Olga the milk maid” make sure you read it in a thick, Scandinavian accent). I had a problem filling out the corset in the upstairs department.*cough* I have never ever filled out anything in that department. Claudia told me to lean over and push everything up. I really thought this wouldn't work, hey I know my body, but when I stood back up I had boobs! You don’t understand what a monumental statement that is. That was the single most glorious moment of my entire life. Boobs! Hehe.

Claudia brought out the first wedding dress. It was everything I thought I didn't want. It was strapless and had some cinching on the side that I just couldn't get behind. But I tried it on anyway. I had to dive into it. Literally. My mother tied the laces in the back, and I stepped out on the podium. I wasn't allowed to look at myself until Claudia had put the whole look together. She placed the veils, tiara, and helped with my shoes (they are flats so I’m not the jolly green giant on my wedding day). My mother told me I looked gorgeous. Claudia asked me details about the wedding and told me to envision myself there. Which I was desperately trying to do, even though it struck me that it was just a little cheesy. But when my mother, God bless her heart, starting humming the wedding song-than I had to bite my tongue not to laugh.

Claudia & Me Plus Some Strange Lady (who is she?) See the picture better here.

When I opened my eyes, I loved what I saw. I felt beautiful, just like a princess. My life long dream is to grow up and become a princess, so this was definitely a plus for the dress. At first I thought this dress was just in the running, but it didn't take me too long to decide I didn't need to try on anything else. Maybe I shouldn't have gone with the first dress, but when you know you know. Now I want to make sure not to gain or lose any weight, because I want everything to fit perfectly. Arm flab be damned, I found my dress.


  1. I love this dress! I have been looking at gowns all week (not for me, for a doll to be photographed) and now I want one for myself. I have nowhere to wear it.. maybe sitting here at my computer, or the grocery store?? I need to figure out this boob push thing. Maybe I need a corset for it LOL I like the way you have your hair, with the tiara and all. It looks like an up-do, but still down, if that makes any sense.

  2. Brittany - just "stumbled" on your blog through Entrecarding and actually stopped to read -- like a long time -- you have a wonderful sense of humor and candor - and a great gift of writing...I'm going to make you a fave and mention you to others! Keep it up!!
    Peace, Sue P.S. From a former MOB, totally agree with you on the butt bow! :-)

  3. awww, it's so pretty. for awhile, i thought i had "found" the dress, and then, now, i'm not so sure. sigh. i have a little time, thankfully, but i'm still nervous. i just want to HAVE it already!

  4. Oh girl, the dreaded butt bow, ha. I know what you mean, and I can't stand them. Did you know that The Little Mermaid had a butt bow AND puffy sleeves?

    I'm so excited for you, and I love your dress. Is it starting to feel real? And so sweet of your mom to fly into town to help you. Oh, and I have absolutely no chest, so I'm with you on the celebration. Gotta get me a corset!

  5. Oh, you look lovely! What a wonderful time in your life--I hope you are having fun! There is nothing like being engaged--what heaven. Enjoy! and Congratulations!

  6. You look beautiful! The dress is amazing! How great that you found your dress!!! I wonder if your former 4th grade friend is married, and how long it took her to find her dress, lol! Good for you! =)

  7. @Moxy-The attendant did my hair like that but I'm defintely thinking of doing it that way. I don't like all updos cause they make my face look severe.

    @Signature-You are so so sweet, that made me smile so big. The butt bows are inventions of the man.

    @Heather-Girl, the time will fly and sneak up on you when you least expect it.

    @DateGirl-It is starting to feel real if not nervewrecking. So much to do. We can start a California chapter of the itty bitty titty commitee.

    @Lin-Thank You, you are so sweet!

    @MySweetThree-I dunno I imagine it took weeks and she wasn't near as hot as I am. LOL

  8. You look gorgeous! I think I bought my dress 2 months before our wedding back in October too..maybe a little less than two months. I went with the first dress, too. When you know, you know!

  9. P.S. I didn't do an updo, either. Hate hair when it's up.


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