Brittphemous

What does this have to do with this post? Umm, absolutely nothing, but that is the best passive aggressive post it ever. So anyway, recently I heard about urban dictionary. Which is basically a dictionary that allows people to define slang words, I guess this is good if you are confused about what hella or the bomb diggity means. But a bunch of kids like to get on there and make up definitions. It all gives me bad, technicolor flashbacks of my dealings with acne ridden middle school aged boys. Which by the way, I just learned that it is ACNE and not ACME. I thought that for 22 YEARS.

I LOLed all over the place when I saw a definition for the word transaction-the sex you get from a transsexual, and also the word brodown-like a hoedown but with your bros. Then of course there is shypod-when one is hesitant about sharing the contents of his or her iPod, and kitchenheimer's-when you're in the kitchen going around in circles because you can't remember what you were doing there. Oh gosh, I suffer from kitchenheimers a 100X times a day. If you haven't figured it out by now, I am easily amused. But here are the definitions for my name, Brittany. (My Commentary is in bold).

Brittany:
1. Meaning uber cool, rad, or just plain awesome!
Example: Hey, your new hairstyle is totally Brittany!
I wish I had known earlier that my name was synonymous with "awesome hairstyle", it would have saved me a lot of grief over that afro/mullet/frizz thing I had going on in middle school.

2. The nicest, sweetest person you will ever meet. She is always there for you.
Example:"Man, I wish I was friends with Brittany!"
Well, my friend, you too can be friends with Brittany. I'm needy like that.

3. The girl you are secretly in love with but you cant show how you really feel. Because your friends are always on your case about her; teasing you about when you two are going to go out and something happened just recently. Now you two dont talk very much, and you appear to be slipping away from each other. Thats a bad thing because you 2 were meant to be with each other... no matter what. So save this. Make the first move or you'll regret it the rest of your life.
Example: You and Brittany are meant to be. Its fate.
I'm torn between being flattered and being completely and totally creeped out. I imagine this guy is the type that would follow you around school asking to carry your books. But you would never really notice he liked you. So instead you'd start dating the proverbial bad guy. Then one day you discover he does something that is an absolute deal breaker. Maybe he puts empty milk jugs back in the fridge instead of throwing them out, so you have to dump him. Really what choice do you have? And then you end up marrying the book guy. Whoa. That is the story of my life.

4. A girl that commonly gets mistaken for a slut or being easy, but often is a smart and beautiful person. She knows what she is talking about and can be very wise.
Example: Tim: Brittany looks like good ass for tonight!
Rob: Shes pretty but shes more than just ass, Tim, shes an actual person dude.
Tim: Really? I guess I can see that, she always was really cool.
Actually I'm not all that wise, never know what I'm talking about (much less blogging about), but I am pretty darn easy.

5.Bringer of doom.
Mistress of the apocalypse.
Stealer of the gummy bears.
Consumer of the Monster drink.
Rocker of the socks.
Claims to be Batman.
Example: That's that one chick, right? I swear I know her.
It is while I'm rocking your socks, that I steal your gummy bears. MWHAHA!