Thursday, December 4, 2008

I Done Did Get Married

Have you ever seen my Big Fat Redneck Wedding? I hadn't until the other day, and I have to say it was a hoot. There was the most endearing couple who got on the "Puter," and ordered a size 28 wedding dress online. When it arrived, it was a size 8. Now if this was the show Bridezillas, fire would be shooting out of her ears, tears would be shed, and the President would have to be called in to respond to a threat to national security. But the rednecks were more level headed, and the groom said just take a deep breath and suck it all can imagine how that turned out. Eventually duck tape was suggested, and everyone could breathe a sigh of relief. CRISIS AVOIDED.

There are so many things brides-to-be can learn from this show. Like camouflage can be used for everyone in the wedding party. Orange, Green, & a little “yeller” make for fabulous floral arrangements. And that the true definition of shotgun wedding is that everyone brings their own shot gun. But I would not suggest wearing camouflage and bringing shotguns to the same wedding, because that could lead to a dangerous outcome.

Last week since I was in town, I took care of a lot of wedding details (Four Months To Go!). One of the big things I have to get figured out is the seating arrangements. What I had originally planned for the head table was just both of our parents &. grandmothers family wise. My mother piped up & said that my stepfather would not be happy if she was up their with my dad & he wasn't up there also. Seriously? Like my mother is going to fall for a man she divorced 22 years ago, over the course of a 45 minute dinner. But I don’t want anyone to get their panties in a twist, so I thought and I thought and finally announced I had the perfect solution. I was very proud of myself, and everyone was waiting for my brilliant announcement. I decided I could sit in between with my parents, and my stepfather could sit on the other side of my mother.

I sat there basking in my own genius, waiting for the handfuls of praise I had coming my way. Won’t they be awed by my sensible problem solving capabilities, I thought. My mother looked at me smiling and said, "You know usually the bride sits by her husband..." I had completely & totally forgot Adam was going to be there. Folks that does not bode well for our future.


  1. Hilarious. I personally sugget you elope. Truly its that much better. Unless that is, your mother will never speak to you again.

  2. see, and that is why our head table is going to be strictly the WEDDING PARTY.

    i couldn't deal with the added stress.

    i love that TV show. curt and i watch it and CRACK up, everytime. If you ever see anyone from IN on there, please don't associate it with ALL of us Hoosier ;)

  3. @Lilly-I think my mom would attend my elopement at this point. But alas Ill get more gifts this way.

    @Heather-Haha I'm from Alabama, I understand!

  4. Haha! I was thinking that was a great solution also! Oh well. They day IS about the bride though isn't it?

  5. Maybe you should have a sweetheart table for you and your hubby, and let everyone else deal with the drama. :) For our wedding we didn't have assigned seating, which I think overall was a good plan.

  6. @Moxy-I know its a great solution, maybe I'll just uninvitie Adam.....

    @Laurie-I'm not doing assigned seating throughout, just that table to stop the drama. But maybe I will just do a sweetheart table :)

  7. Oh my word. As long as they love each other, I guess. Good luck avoiding drama on your wedding day. Sometimes that can be difficult, but it looks like your taking steps in the right direction.

  8. "I had completely & totally forgot Adam was going to be there..."

    Actually, that's very typical. During my first wedding, I could have asked one of my friends to stand in for me while I sat at home and nursed my hangover. Grooms are rather superfluous in these things.

    Good luck!

  9. Haha, oh that's so funny. Match and I LOVE My Big Fat Redneck Wedding. I watched hicks try to make homemade wine with grapes from the store and vodka. Heheheh...jungle juice is more like it!

    I think the idea of having your stepdad up there with your mom is just fine. You, Adam in the middle, and family on either side. Or you could 86 the family and just have your groomsmen and bridesmaids up there with you?

  10. Hey! Where did you get that picture of my wedding?

    JK, seriously though, I can't even watch that show. Maybe I'm the only person with this strange quirk, but i get embarrassed for people on tv and I have to look away. My husband likes to torture me with it while I'm begging him to change it, my face bright pink from the horror of it all.

    On another note, I just got married not even two months ago myself and our head table was just us and the bridesmaids and groomsmen. I have a stepfather and stepmother too and oddly, even though they all get along, I was not going to risk any drama. Congrats on your upcoming wedding! Sorry for writing a novel in your comments.


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