You’re as Cuddly as a Cactus

My mom has always taken Christmas very seriously. When December rolls around our house always looks like Christmas threw up everywhere. IT'S FANTASTIC. Yeah I know it may be too early to even be discussing Christmas, even if Wal-mart doesn't think so. I was even in shock when three weeks ago my neighbors started setting out Halloween decorations. But really can we just skip to Easter already, because that holiday has all the best candy (reese's chocolate peanut butter eggs anyone?). But the truth is I've been thinking about Christmas a lot these last two weeks. Because this Christmas will be different than the past, we will be spending Christmas with Adam's family in Wisconsin.

I'm excited about visiting Wisconsin, because I hope to see all 50 states some day. Plus I'm really happy about having a white Christmas. But did I mention that I have never met Adam's family? We've been dating over two years, engaged six months, and I've known him for ten, and yet the only time I've ever even talked to them was right after our engagement . I am just as scared as I imagine my childhood friend was when we were playing a game of hide n seek, and I had no idea that she was hiding the dryer and I accidentally shut the lid (And yes she survived). I worry that meeting Adam's parents at Christmas will be just like that movie The Family Stone. But Adam has no siblings, and they live on a farm so I might end up being courted by a cow instead. Although dating a cow would definitely be more enjoyable than being with some of my ex-boyfriends. Hardy Har Har.

I’m supposed to be getting a Christmas wish list together for them, a task that is wroth with peril. I mean what if they judge me by what is on my list. If I put the book War & Peace on the list they might think I’m a smarty pants, and if I ask for Dora the Explorer the complete first season-I’m immature. I thought about adding the karma sutra position of the day book, but since Adam thinks it funny to tell his family I’m pregnant, I don’t want to add fuel to that fire. OK OK so I wouldn’t ask for these things & they wouldn’t judge me on my Christmas list, they are good people. But Adam really does tell his family I’m pregnant, as a really bad joke that only he finds funny.