Monday, October 6, 2008

The Activities & Events of the Unemployed

Since I will be starting at my new job soon (ka-ching), I wanted to record my typical day throughout all these months of unemployment.

  • 8:00 A.M.-Are you kidding? I was never up that early, my days start much, much later.
  • 12:00 P.M.-The heat or my internal, eternally messed up clock wakes me up. I stumble into the living room like a tranquilized elephant. Immediately I flip on all fans and AC (this girl can't stand being hot). I am then greeted and nearly knocked to the floor by an overly excited golden retriever.
  • 1:00 P.M.-After blankly staring at the TV or laptop for an hour, I finally take Sarah out for a walk. Where I spend half the time wrestling abandoned chicken bones out of her mouth, and the other fending off lewd remarks from a few members of the halfway house down the block. SO NOT FLATTERING. *Mental Reminder*-Must teach Sarah to attack on verbal command.
  • 1:30 P.M.-It's finally time for breakfast err lunch. I usually eat something cheap like ramen noodles or a chicken pot pie. As I'm eating a chicken pot pie, I always take a second to ponder the chicken pot pie phenomenon. The phenomenon that states that my love of the chicken pot pie always transcends my hatred of peas.
  • 1:45 P.M.-Usually Adam calls me around this time from work, I always ask him what he is doing, and he always replies, “Um, working." I know this is a dumb question but I can’t help myself. I then ask if he is having fun, and we move on to discussing our plans for the evening. SHIELD YOURSELF FROM THE ROMANTIC GLARE.
  • 2:00-6:00 P.M.-This starts off a marathon level of TV watching that I can't say I'm particularly proud of. And it all happens on one channel-Soap Net. And no I'm not a soap opera junkie, I tune in for reruns of Beverly Hills 90210, One Tree Hill, and The OC. The OC makes me smile because it reminds me of that year that my roommates and I had a poster of Adam Brody in our bathroom stall. That my friends made life so much better.
  • 6:00 P.M.-Adam comes home from work, and by this time I have had no interaction with humans all day. Unless you count the lewd men from the morning walk (and really who does?). I bombard him with non stop chatter which is basically minute by minute commentary about what is happening inside my head. He might occasionally nod to show some form of life.
  • 6:30 P.M.-We rally the family and head out for the dog park. Where I will cheat on Sarah with every dog around, be the designated pooper scooper, and risk getting my pants dirty by one boxer who loves to sling snot in my general direction.
  • 7:30 P.M.- 11:00 P.M.-Time for dinner, perhaps another pot pie? Some more ponderings on powerful forces? Dinner time also doubles as my time for bad TV du jour. Maybe some Gossip Girl, The Hills, or a little bit of America's Next Top Model. As I watch these shows I can feel my brain cells committing suicide, but I would not give them up for the world.
  • 11:00 P.M.-1:00 A.M.-I am left on my lonesome. I have a confession to make, I'm a night blogger. Shush. Even if my posts have different times, they were almost all written at night. This is also when I read most blogs. You people are awesome.
  • 1:00 A.M.-4:00 A.M.-I wind down around this time, watch TV, read some wikipedia, and when I was still job hunting I'd submit resumes. Around 4 A.M., I stumble to bed, and Adam and Sarah are both snoring so loud that it sounds like I'm in a wind tunnel. This usually doesn’t bother me unless I’m having trouble sleeping. In that case, I think about poking both of them until they wake up to spend some time with me.


  1. Haha love this, actually seen something like this on another blog, so was typing mine out when I got here to read yours. :)

  2. I can't remember the last time I saw 2:00 am on purpose.. stinking kids.. hahahaha


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