What Not To Wear

Since I am currently unemployed (groan), I watch a lot of TV. Well to be fair that’s not all I do, I talk to myself and take Sarah to the dog park. Where I get to play with all the dogs, and watch them form butt sniffing circles. Yes, I know why dogs sniff each other's butt, but I still find it slightly amusing. I mean they could at least introduce themselves first.

I have long ago admitted to liking soul sucking reality TV. And one of the shows that I love is What Not To Wear. And not just because I would totally do Clinton Kelly. This sounds entirely too sentimental, but I really do believe Stacy & Clinton help people gain confidence. And I appreciate how they say love & dress the body you have now, not the body you want to have. With all that being said, I fully understand that there are moments what I could totally qualify for What Not To Wear. Especially if you had seen me in middle school when I used to love to wear running shorts with winter sweatshirts (wtf, mate?)

I wouldn't necessarily say that I don't know what looks good. I clean up pretty darn nice if I do say so myself. I have a few dress outfits that fit me nicely, and one denim skirt that I love so much, that if it no longer fit, I would have it framed. But when it doesn't really matter, I've been known to let things get a little "scruffy." So when you see me at the store, I'm wearing baggy sweat pants and an old t-shirt. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret, I occasionally free boob it. You see my boobs never really grew in, and I've been a card carrying member of the itty bitty titty committee for years. I have even developed deep seeded animosity for my well stacked sisters (just kidding). But honestly there is almost no perceivable difference between when I'm wearing a bra and when I'm not. But I do almost always wear a bra, just because I buy into the old wife’s tale that if I don't my boobs will drag the ground by the time I'm 50.
But given the opportunity to spend five thousand dollars and breathe the same air as Clinton Kelly, I could toss out any pair of sweatpants I have and change my wayward fashion ways.