Sunday, August 10, 2008

At Your Friendly Neighborhood Store

This morning I was taking my daily walk, when I noticed a man jogging with a grocery buggy. It occurred to me that this was a little odd, but I do live right next to a grocery store, so I didn't think too much about it. I only took a moment to wonder how he had gotten the buggy past the automatic wheel locking mechanism in the parking lot (those are so annoying). I then noticed he was not just jogging, he was running. Crazy running with legs and arms flailing in every direction. The type of running you do as a child, when you want to catch the ice cream man and you don't care if anyone is watching.

And I thought to myself, “This guy is having a really good time and is so uninhibited that he doesn't care if he looks foolish.” I was envious of this man, who wasn't concerned what people thought of him. I've yet to be able to tame that beast within myself, but I'm getting there. But then I considered the fact that maybe this carefree attitude is just a Southern California thing. L.A. is a big place where everyone doesn’t know everyone, like you do in small town Alabama. Because if I was acting "foolish" back home, it would be front page news and gossip fodder for the church on Sunday.

But then I noted he had a lot of meat in his buggy and none of it was in plastic bags. A LOT OF MEAT. Like enough meat to feed my entire family for weeks, and believe me my family can eat. And he was not running, but darting in front of busy traffic, causing them to slam on their breaks, and coming dangerously close to taking out my big toe in a hit and run accident. And I love my big toe. Then there was that man running just as crazily behind him, looking pretty pissed off.

So just as I was about to have an epiphany about living life uninhibited, I realized this was just a man shoplifting some meat. And the real lesson to be learned here is how the heck did he figure out how to defeat those self locking buggy wheels?!?


  1. Hi Brittany,
    Life has been crazy for me...I have missed you.

    I only have a wee time to blog today but I have something for you.

    Thanks for not forgetting about me. Hopefully I will be back up to full speed within 4 weeks.

  2. You can only learn killer thief skills like that in prison.

    You can also learn killer skills there, so be careful. Avoid the meat buggy.

  3. I plan to avoid all meat buggies and meats.

  4. Lol, sheesh. Ya know, i hope this guy wasn't trying to feed a starving family or something....yesterday I went and bought groceries and if i'd read this before i got there, I mighta tried it too lol

  5. I thought that too, I mean I'm pretty broke I thought about it.....

  6. LMAO That story is priceless, I'd love to have photographed that for the bizarre news section. I wonder why it was all meat, I mean you can't have meat without taters!!

  7. Yeah taters and green beans, and something to wash it all down with. If you are going to steal, might as well go all the way!

  8. i witnessed a guy stealing petrol the other day - altho i didn't realise i had seen what i had seen until i went to pay for mine - tough times huh!


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