Praying for Laryngitis

Last night Adam and I scored tickets to a pre-released showing of the 24 made for TV movie coming out later this year. I like the show but I'm not a crazed fan. So the whole time I was there I felt a little bit like a fraud. I was fully expecting that everyone would break out their handy, dandy pitchforks when I marked on my survey that I only watched 24 "occasionally," and that my favorite channel was “Food Network.” Adam, on the other hand, is one of those fans and I'm pretty sure he would have allowed them to turn on me. If only because given half the chance he would change our wedding plans and change teams to be with Jack Bauer.

The minute we got there they took my camera phone, put us through a security screening, and made us sign a pretty lengthy confidentiality agreement. No one said I would have to keep QUIET about what I saw. And the funny thing is I would probably never really talk about it if they hadn't told me that I couldn't. It is just like back in high school when I would walk into the kitchen and my mother would ask me if that was what I really was going to wear to school that day. It didn't matter to me that the only reason I was wearing that outfit was because I had run out of clean clothes, and I didn't even like the ensemble myself. The moment I knew she disliked it, it was suddenly my all-time favorite outfit, and the only one I wanted to wear for the rest of my life.

I would totally blab the details, if I had the kohones. But I don't have the kohones, and I'm pretty sure that the Fox Network has enough power and money to sell my soul to the devil if they wanted to. And I really want go to heaven because in church I learned there are fluffy puppies and krispy kreme donuts in heaven.


(An Actual Photo Taken in Heaven)
So in an effort to secure my place among the puppies & donuts, I will be wearing this medieval torture device until the move is released. This helmet was used to punish women who "talked too much," and prevents the flapping of the jaws. I got to try it on when I was in London in 2004, and I think it is the best solution to my problem.