Tuesday, July 1, 2008


To celebrate my new job Adam took me out to eat at Famous Dave's in downtown Long Beach last Thursday. Which by the way I highly recommend, the food was really good and I finally got my beloved sweet tea. While there my boss called to tell me the things I would need to bring to orientation: a copy of my license, proof of car insurance, and my social security card. The first two I knew I had, because I live in chronic fear of being pulled over and not being able to locate these things. Mainly because the first time I ever got pulled over, I handed over my health insurance card instead of my car insurance and felt totally moronic. Although Adam once got pulled over and handed the man his debit card so I guess he finishes first in the feeling idiotic race with that one. So even though I knew where the first two items were, I didn't think I could locate my SS card since the move.

I immediately went into panic mood, because I find it impossible to keep my shit together like ever. When we got home I ripped through the house like a tornado. Flying through papers, files, and documents screeching, "They are going to FIRE ME" and "They are going to think I'm FLAKY!" I had Adam call my mother, to find out if she had even given me my social security card. Which she had, and I knew she had and I later found out that he had whispered to her in a conspiratorial tones, "What should I do? She is totally freaking out...." She should have just said, "That is just the way of the E**** women..." She knows I didn't learn to jump to end of the world scenarios on my own. Oh no it was after years of intense study and mother mimicry.

I figured they needed my SS card to prove citizenship. So I decided the only thing I could do was take my birth certificate and tax return, and hope that would be enough. But that didn't stop me from having butterflies in my stomach for over 24 hours. I felt like a kid who was going to school without my homework. And I never went to school without my homework.

When I finally got to orientation and explained the situation, my boss just shrugged and said, "Just get it to me when you can." And it was over just like that, they didn't even give it a second thought. I had spent so much time worrying, and they really didn't care. It's funny, I almost felt gypped. Didn't all my worrying deserve a bigger response? So I guess for me it was a lose-lose situation. Sure I didn’t get in trouble, but I didn’t get that payoff from worrying either that tells me, “See girlfriend your craziness was so justified!"

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