This One Might Just Make You Clear the Room

Right now Adam and I are living in a very small studio apartment with only basic cable and limited monetary resources. We can't really do anything all day but stare at each, so to get our kicks we must get creative. And I can not tell you exactly why, but more often than not Adam and I find ourselves wrestling. Not in the sexual way, but in the no holds barred, I ain’t stopping till you cry uncle or I collapse from exhaustion way. I like to surprise attack him, jumping on his back and effectively taking him down. And then it is on like donkey kong.

So last night we were wrestling, and Adam flipped me over. Now here, Dear Internet, is when I get really honest, maybe too honest. When Adam flipped me over, I farted. That’s right I cut the cheese, tooted my own horn, stepped on the duck, and launched an air biscuit.

I immediately froze. I had gone a whole two years dating Adam without this ever happening. As far as I knew Adam didn’t even know that women were able to fart. Maybe to him women are angels that never pass gas and are constant beings of sunshine and light. I mean I am a being of sunshine and light, so why would he think otherwise?

I started to consider my best possible plan of action. Maybe he didn’t hear it. Maybe I could blame it on the dog or on our children. Oh wait, we don’t have a dog or a child. Maybe I could make him think he DID it. But he’s not that slow. The silence went for what seemed like forever but was really just for a few seconds. Before he just exploded laughing. And then I couldn’t help myself and I was laughing. And we laughed for a good ten minutes. Laughed until our sides hurt and I had made him promise never to tell a soul (before turning around and telling it to the whole internet). And then we laughed at the immature thing we were laughing at. I mean really are we 12 year old boys?

And in the most immature way, Adam has been teasing me all day. Good natured teasing, that makes me laugh. And I guess now that this relationship milestone has been crossed, I have no choice but to marry him. Because you just can't come back from that now can you?