I recently wrapped up working until next fall because the school year is ending, so there isn't much work for a tutor. Even if they are a brilliant, beautiful, and amazing tutor like me. In some ways this is bad, Adam and I really have to be careful with our money now, and we can't afford to do a ton of fun things. But on the plus side, I really, really love all the free time. I get up early most mornings, and I drop Adam off at work before heading off to the gym. But I find that I have to keep my grumpiness in check with him, because I had forgotten just how much of a morning person I am not.
I remember back in my middle school days, my mother would come into my bedroom and wake me up after she had already put breakfast on the table. And she wasn't even allowed to talk to me until after I had breakfast and had gotten dressed, because I could be so grumpy. But in defense of my crabby apple self; my mother is a bizarro breed of species known as the morning person. So by the time I had woken up, she would have already had two cups of coffee, cleaned the kitchen, and accomplished world domination. That kind of chirpiness deserves to be punished.
Once I get to gym, I work really hard. Not really working hard at exercising, but working hard not to ever fall off that treadmill again. I swear every time I get on that evil machine now I am convinced I'm going to fall off again. I'm having non stop traumatic flashbacks. But despite my treadmill walking fears, I have something to celebrate because in the last four weeks I've lost 17 lbs! And all the crunches I've been doing are giving me abs, actual abs! Like I have lines on my stomach. Those abs have made me so vain, because I spend so much darn time starting at them.
After I get home, I try to be a good kid, by actually working on some homework. Sometimes I am successful, and sometimes I even manage to finish my homework days in advance. And what do I do when I finish early? I take to facebook to brag to my fellow classmate and good friend A., because I need validation that I am better than him. I'm totally kidding, well I do brag, but not for that reason. Adam and I are good friends with him and his wife, and we go out on double dates all the time. A. and I have a very braggy and snark filled relationship. Plus, I am just better than him. Am I kidding? You decide.
Whether I work-out or not, do homework or not, I typically allot some time in the afternoon for napping. I currently hold a gold medal in napping (along with holding the gold medal for knowing all lyrics to every Vanilla Ice song, tripping over my feet, and busting a move at random intervals). Is there anything better than curling up in the most comfortable bed in the world, your dog snoring next to you, and sleeping an hour or so? I think not. In fact, I've become so devoted to my afternoon naps, that I get mad when I can't have one. The other day I had to stay up because I was waiting for UPS to deliver Adam's birthday gift, and by the end of the day I was as grumpy as a toddler.
But my napping is also causing me guilt. You see Adam accidentally threw out our 2010 census form, and then I read that California had one of the worst Census turnout numbers in the whole country. And I've been feeling super guilty for a while now, thinking about how all the little California kids wouldn't get the education they needed, and how there wouldn't be enough city buses or hospitals all because Adam threw away the stupid form! But then I found out that they are going door to door, and was relieved. I figured I wouldn't be responsible for ruining the kid’s future anymore! But they keep coming by in the afternoon, when I'm asleep. And every time I wake up and see one of those blue "We Stopped By" census forms on the door, I feel like I'm being chastised for my lazy behaviors. Yet I won't sacrifice my naps, those poor, poor children.
I attend class once a week, and even though it is my only commitment, I still feel like it is intruding on my Me Me Me Me Time. A feeling I never had when I worked all day and then went to class. But the truth is I'm still really loving school. OK sometimes I find myself sobbing to Adam in the bedroom and saying, "What if I can't pass Graduate Portfolio 2!" "I'll never be able to complete my practicum......" "What if I suck at this." Being a therapist has really been my only career ambition (other than wanted to grow up to be a "Vegetarian" when I was five) for so long, that the thought of failing is terrifying. But the more I learn about counseling, the more I know this is for me. And that is rewarding. Plus in what other degree program can you spend 20 minutes talking about whether or not hugging your clients is appropriate?
Other plans for this summer? A trip home to Alabama to spend some time with my mother and friends. A friend's wedding in Atlanta. Gosh, I love me some weddings. My nieces coming out to visit (ut oh I have to entertain two teenagers). But other than that, I'm looking forward to a summer full of napping and slacking.